Get a room!

So, tonight I met Melissa at Starbucks for coffee and Christmas gift exchange. We were enjoying our lattes and conversation relatively undisturbed by those around us. Yes, the two teenagers at the adjoining table were a little annoying with their listening to some stupid message on a cell phone that had the volume turned up so loud that my grandma in N.C. could have heard it, but whatever. Public places are bound to produce public rudeness.

After a couple of exchanged eye rolls and "kids today" smiles, Mel and I resumed our conversation. While we were talking, the teenagers managed to move from their table to the plush, purple, velvet-y type chair. Now mind you, this chair was meant for one person...most likely a person consuming a beverage and reading a book or scribbling in a journal. However, Girl McHornypants and Dude McLovin decide that it is a perfect place for them to proclaim their fake high school love to the entire Starbucks clientele by making out in the purple chair. At first it was just little pecks here and there, but then it became full on smacking, moaning and spanking (OK, maybe not the latter, but my back was turned to them and I had to rely on Mel's facial expressions for the play-by-play).

One girl at another table couldn't take it so she left. The girls to our left were pretty dumbfounded. Also, I swear the guy in the corner eating the yummy looking pastry threw up in his mouth a little bit.

OK, I get that you are teenagers, and you probably don't have anywhere else to go...you can't make out at your parents house for obvious reasons, you can't go to a bar because you are too young, you probably haven't figured out the joys of making out in a public restroom (I think you learn that in college), so Starbucks is a place that might come to mind. And I know how the aromas of espresso and steamed milk can really make one want to tear someone's clothes off, but for god's sake think of the children! I'm sure the parents in the corner table thought that they were taking their kids out for a little treat at a coffeehouse, not an R-rated movie called "Purple Chair Perversion."

Finally McHorny and McLovin decide to leave and go dry hump somewhere. I guess the girl that had left earlier saw the lovers leave, so she came storming back into the store with a face of relief. While I sipped on the rest of my latte and tried to block my peripheral vision of Girl and Dude making out in the parking lot, I thought...they should really spray that purple chair with Lysol. Then I thought, what makes people think that making out in public is cool? I have never been a big fan of the PDA, but I think I can handle it in certain places like bars, corner booths in restaurants, or the Hustler store. But do people think that we have become so perverse as a society that they think we actually want to watch them tongue wrestle? Call me crazy, but I always thought that making out was something very private that should be shared as a special thing between two people in a respectable and romantic place...like the backseat of a car. I mean, have a little respect for yourself!