PL: Knock Konck!
Me: Hi there.
PL: (walks over to floor plant) Wow! She's just sprouting little babies everywhere.
Me: (feigning interest) Oh yeah?
PL: Yeah, she's got one, two, three, four, five, six little babies coming out of her.
Me: Maybe I should throw her a baby shower.
PL: Yeah, six of 'em!
Me: She sure does get around.
PL: Your tree here is a little whore! Ha ha!
Me: Oh...um...wow...ok.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Do internet scammers even try anymore?
Going through some e-mails today, I came across one from the IRS telling me that my stimulus refund would be deposited soon. Of course, not being void of all of my good sense I know that the IRS does not e-mail people because only human beings with souls use e-mail. Needing some entertainment for my weary brain, I clicked on the e-mail, mostly because the subject line promised me my "tax refound." Apparently my stimulus check was lost, but now is refound. Amazing greace, how sweet the seound!
Anyway, I clicked on it expecting what any kind of scam trying to get my $600 check would say..."we want to give you your money but don't have anywhere to send it, please give us your checking account number so we can deposit your money as soon as possible, you hapless fucking idiot." But what I found was oh so much better. I screen captured it for your pleasure:
I can't pick the best part of this scam e-mail. Is it the fact that the IRS tells me that I have "got" a tax refund? The IRS sneers their snotty little noses at grammar. We are the IRS, dammit! We not got to use grammar rightly if we no want! Or is it the fact that the refund is on my Visa or Mastercard? Why can't they put it on my Amex or Discover card? Maybe my favorite part is the "Complect Formular." The IRS has no use for the English language, so they decided to make up their own Latin-esque phrasing to make it sound like Julius Caesar. "Thou doth complect formular unto thine refound, you hapless fucking idiot!" No, no. I think my favorite part is the fact that my refund is $620.50. Not the even number of $600 that was promised, no! Just because I am a great American citizen and a true patriot, I get an extra $20 bill and two quarters to remind me of the great patriots Andrew Jackson and George Washington (twice) and how I should strive to be like them. So, American patriot, click on this Complect Formular and we shall be cleaning out your bank account posthaste, because this is America and we can.
Seriously, do these internet scammers even try anymore? I mean, you would think they would put a little bit of thought into something if they were trying to make a lot of money. Or maybe this is just an experiment to see if someone will actually fall for it. Hmmm...maybe I will try this to see if it would work. I do have that extra $20.50 to work with...
Anyway, I clicked on it expecting what any kind of scam trying to get my $600 check would say..."we want to give you your money but don't have anywhere to send it, please give us your checking account number so we can deposit your money as soon as possible, you hapless fucking idiot." But what I found was oh so much better. I screen captured it for your pleasure:
I can't pick the best part of this scam e-mail. Is it the fact that the IRS tells me that I have "got" a tax refund? The IRS sneers their snotty little noses at grammar. We are the IRS, dammit! We not got to use grammar rightly if we no want! Or is it the fact that the refund is on my Visa or Mastercard? Why can't they put it on my Amex or Discover card? Maybe my favorite part is the "Complect Formular." The IRS has no use for the English language, so they decided to make up their own Latin-esque phrasing to make it sound like Julius Caesar. "Thou doth complect formular unto thine refound, you hapless fucking idiot!" No, no. I think my favorite part is the fact that my refund is $620.50. Not the even number of $600 that was promised, no! Just because I am a great American citizen and a true patriot, I get an extra $20 bill and two quarters to remind me of the great patriots Andrew Jackson and George Washington (twice) and how I should strive to be like them. So, American patriot, click on this Complect Formular and we shall be cleaning out your bank account posthaste, because this is America and we can.
Seriously, do these internet scammers even try anymore? I mean, you would think they would put a little bit of thought into something if they were trying to make a lot of money. Or maybe this is just an experiment to see if someone will actually fall for it. Hmmm...maybe I will try this to see if it would work. I do have that extra $20.50 to work with...
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